Tuesday, September 8, 2015


Well, my Labor/Birth – day was great! It started out in the pits, but it got better. That nadir or low point came when I had trouble on the stairs. Usually, I don’t think about going down because the descent is fairly easy. Not yesterday, though. My feet felt like lead for some reason, and I reopened the cut on my toe – blood everywhere. My husband quickly came to the rescue, then he went off to church alone. I tried to relax, and eventually, I was all right.

We made the pork barbecue – I’ll write about it in another post. Then, the gang began to arrive. I had to hear all about the first week of kindergarten, and I had to commiserate about the little one’s ‘bad throat.’ We put out snacks, the guys talked guy stuff, and my daughter and I took the boys to the den for some arts and crafts. They were wound up, so a lot of messes were made. I didn’t care – I love hearing their little voices talking and giggling. In time, I went back to the kitchen to get help putting everything on the table. The meal was a success, and the boys asked me to make it again sometime – yay! My husband bought a cake from Wegman’s, but once again, the decorating was horrid. I didn’t care. Then, he couldn’t find the candles, so I was serenaded to a candleless cake. I didn’t care. My son did the cutting honors. I was regaled with cards and gifts, and I felt very loved.

Then came ‘The Talk.’ My children are concerned about me, and they want me out of the house as soon as possible. I explained that I had been doing online research for a suitable apartment. It had to be located where we’d still be near enough to all three kids. It had to be two bedrooms with two baths. Most importantly, it had to be accessible and have a walk/roll-in shower. I had made a list of apartments I thought would fit the bill, but I needed people to check them out in person. At that point, my daughter asked if we’d think about moving in with them when they move. My reaction was NO! I did not want to intrude on their life, and my husband agreed. Evidently, all three kids have been discussing this behind our backs, and each chimed in with their own arguments. Their points were valid, and I swayed, but I didn’t feel right about it. We left it that Dad and I will discuss it and decide by the weekend if we’ll go for it.

It’s a lot to think about, and I have to list the pros and cons of any decision we make. When we had my mother come to live with us, the situation was different. She was moving into full-fledged Alzheimer’s, and she needed care. She was a widow, but she was physically fit. She was quite a bit older, and she shared our whole house. My daughter wants to buy a house with an in-law suite or have one built. My SIL would have access to excellent medical resources. Instead of shelling out for an overpriced apartment and utilities, we’d pay my daughter.

My husband and I will sit down and go through all of it. It’s a big decision, and I want it to be the right one. I have my work cut out for me. I think I need another slice of my birthday cake – sweets help in decision making!  



  1. Hi Muff - so sorry about your feet being so heavy and that cut on your toe re-opening. My goodness - it's all so hard to manage. Seems like your family arriving was a good distraction even though the conversation was hard to embrace. They have said their piece and ultimately it is between you and your husband. I do admire their obvious care, concern and the safety of your wonderful family that they are able to share their thoughts and feelings. That is so wonderful.

    I am back on antibiotics - sigh.........hopefully ths is it. Our Labor Day was quiet - just us,my sister, her son and her niece and all of our dogs!!~ They kept us smiling and alert. :-)
    Love to you

    1. Yes, my kids are great --I am blessed! So sorry that you're back on antibiotics -- hope they work this time!

  2. happy birthday muff!!! so very sweet of your kids, a true sign of how much they love you!!!

    you do have a lot to think about, but i am sure you will make the right choice!!!!!

    1. My kids are sweet and loving and I adore them! We're still talking, but no decision yet.

  3. Sounds like a lovely birthday celebration!

    If your daughter and SIL are eager to build or buy a home with an in- law suite, I'd go for it. Just think of being that close to the grandies!

  4. Happy belated Birthday!
    If they move to a place with a In Law Suite or build one I think that is a great idea. Most time they are like living completely on your own. No lawn work..snow removal...and help next has many good points.
    Good Luck with your decision:)

  5. Happy Birthday a day+ late and a dollar short ;-).
    I agree with Far Side on this -- that's my two cents worth of advice. LOL

  6. Now that was a birthday surprise! You really do have some deciding to do!
    My grandson recently invited me to move into his house, but my daughter did not jump on that in a way that indicated it was a good idea for me. ;))

  7. Ugh -- Blogger -- won't let me reply to comments after the first two!

    Karen, on an intellectual level, I know you're right, but too often I think with my heart.

    Connie, As I said to Karen, in my head I know it's a smart move, but I have to 'what if..' and 'suppose...' everything to death. I just don't want to be a burden.

    Webster, your two cents is appreciated, and we are working on making a final decision soon. PS -- hope you're getting better!

    Olga, your daughter would probably love to have you, but when kids blurt things, parents are caught off guard. We kept the little ones out of talk -- that would have been funny hearing their comments!