Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Prep Day

I finished several dishes for tomorrow, and everyone is helping. So,I’m resting today.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Is There a Normal?

What is normal? For me, it’s a changeable entity. When we first started this roller coaster ride, I wasn’t doing that badly, and I only viewed a swift decline in the distant future. Now, I’m not doing that well, and I realize that a decline can be close at hand.

I have so much trouble with steps that I was moved to living on the first floor. A twin bed was set up in the family room, and the powder room was turned into an accessible bathroom. Then, I just couldn’t sleep on the bed, so I moved to sleeping in an armchair. Huge mistake! My feet and legs have swelled so much. I also don’t walk enough anymore. I’m moved from chair to wheelchair and back. I need to start getting up and walking more. I know I can’t do it all at once, but every day, I try to do a little more.

At the height of my husband’s illness, my boys took turns staying at the house. In the middle of the night, I’d call them on their cells, and they’d come down to help me. No complaints were ever made – they were so giving and caring. Now, my husband and I are trying it alone, and we’re making it work.

I don’t want all of this to be my new normal. I need to try and get better. It will help me both physically and mentally. When I accomplish something, the frustration and sadness go away. 

On a side note, for those of you who knew Herrad Ford, she passed away last week. It’s so sad – she was such an inspiration!



Monday, November 23, 2015

Climbing Out of the Rabbit Hole

It seems more like Odysseus’ journey to Ithaca than Alice’s to Wonderland, though. I’ve been gone for such a long time, but I’m trying to get back to normal again. My husband had two heart procedures, and he’s now on the mend. My stress level was through the roof, and it greatly affected my MS. I went into a swift decline. Now, I’m trying to get back to my baseline. I’ll get back on schedule with my writing, and I’ll be reading all your blogs. Just be patient with me, please.

We’re planning our move for the beginning of January, and I have lots to accomplish.

Thank you for your comments and private contacts. I really appreciate it.


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Short Note

I’ll only be on here occasionally. My husband is in the hospital, again. This time, it’s his heart.  I’m petrified. My wonderful children are stepping in as before. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Friday Fragments

I realize I was away for a while, but it was busy-ness, not sickness that kept me off the computer.

Change in Plans:  My daughter and family came home from Disney World on Tuesday, and she called me to tell me all about it. While we were talking, she asked me to move at the same time they are. I told her that our apartment wouldn’t be finished. She assured me that they had plenty of room, and I could oversee the construction. I readily agreed because this living downstairs here is driving me nuts. So we’ll be moving on Thanksgiving week. I told my daughter that we could pull together and make TG dinner together – even if it isn’t as elaborate as other years. The little guy begins in his new school on the 30th, so they have to move the week before, despite the holiday. Of course that meant I had to get things packed in a shorter time. Anything worth keeping is getting boxed and labeled, and if we can’t use it in the new place, we’ll chuck it then. My wonderful sons said they’d help by fixing/cleaning after everything’s gone.

Years of Accumulating: The packing of which I wrote above is tough on the heartstrings. Realistically, I know I can’t keep everything I’ve amassed over the years, but it’s hard to say good-bye. I’m fortunate that my children want to keep so many things for themselves. On Wednesday, the boys wandered from room to room, tagging with Post-It’s the things they want. I have a box started for my daughter, too. We also have a lot at the curb on trash days! I just try to envision how nice it will be in our new home!

Food: For Wednesday’s dinner, I made a slow cooker pot roast. It was simple but delicious. It amazes me that with adding only four tablespoons of liquid, I end up with so much gravy! The aroma wafted through the house all day, and by dinnertime, I was starving! The boys made up their doggie bags, and the clean-up was easy.

Kasey Sitting: We have our favorite fur baby here again. My son is running in the Detroit marathon on Sunday. It seems like a long way to go just to run, but he’s excited about it. He flies out tomorrow, will sightsee in the afternoon, run Sunday, and come home Monday. The race route also takes them into Windsor, Ontario, Canada, and that’s great. Kasey will miss his boy, but we have lots of doggie treats!

A Star:  My little guy was chosen to play the “Beast” opposite Belle in a rendition of Beauty and the Beast at Disney. My daughter sent me the video, and I got such a kick out of it. He wore a cape over his shorts and tee, and ‘danced’ with a full-sized Belle. At the end, he takes a bow. I know I’m a doting grandmother, but I thought it was adorable. I hope he catches the acting bug and wants to perform again.

Have a great weekend.


Monday, October 12, 2015

Baby Steps

I continue to improve, albeit in very small increments. My husband is my biggest cheerleader, and I believe that it’s his encouragement that propels me forward. When he notices how well I’m doing, he remarks on it, and even though I still need his help, he allows me to try out my independence. He read me accurately last week when I noticed that he was completely healed from his diverticulitis bout. He said it must seem unfair that he got well so quickly while I go in the opposite direction. It’s true – I was a bit jealous, but I got over it.

Again, I survived Saturday being alone. In the morning, I said I thought I might try moving around the downstairs as I used to do. But by the time my husband left, I felt panicky, and I just stayed in my one small area. I just need a bit more confidence, and then I’ll be able to return to my former ways. It’s not a big deal, and I have to convince myself that I can handle it. Over a pizza dinner that evening, my ‘motivational speaker’ told me to try a little extra each day, and before long I’d be back to my old self.

Yesterday, I decided to go to church. My husband helped on Saturday night by getting my preferred outfit together. It was coolish, so I could wear a fall jacket in earth tones. It took me for-e-ver to get ready, though. I started early since I suspected I might struggle. I even put on makeup to feel like myself again. While we were driving over to church, I tried to convince myself that this was a major move. I had not been outside nearly the entire summer, and I had only gone to church twice the whole time. That’s just not me. I always made the effort, no matter how rotten I felt. Once we went inside, I realized that I was too exhausted to do the whole getting out of the wheelchair into the pew and doing all the sit/stand/kneel maneuvers. So, I stayed in the chair and we remained in the back section. This was a wise move.

All my buds came over to see me and tell me they were glad I was back. Even the priest gave me a separate blessing! I didn’t try fumbling with the hymnal, but I still sang. I was able to transfer back into the car with no problems, and I felt very accomplished. I was tired when we came home, but it was a manageable fatigue. I was buoyed by the fact that I did, indeed, get out!

Today, I’ll take it easy and just do small things. I realize these are mere baby steps, but the fact that I didn’t give up gives me the incentive to continue!



Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday Fragments

With all the commotion around here for the past few weeks, I haven’t had much to save, but here’s my offering for this week.

Success: I was nervous about being alone yesterday, but I quelled my fears by reminding myself that my husband was only ten minutes away, I had my alert button, and I really was stronger than my doubts. I did stay in a very small circle, though, going no farther than the family room, breakfast room, kitchen, and powder room. All I did was watch TV and read. I can get my email and FB on my phone, so I didn’t venture out to the computer. The time went by quickly, and I was proud of myself for getting through it. Now, I’ll venture a little farther each time, until I’m back to my old ways, again. I just have to keep my mind on what I’m doing, so there will be no more falls.

Party: We celebrated my husband’s birthday on Wednesday, and all the gang was here. The two little guys were beside themselves with anticipation of the Disney trip, so it was wild around here. They both went to their little art room and painted pictures for Poppy, and insisted that he hang them. The meal wasn’t as great as I had hoped, but that was my fault. I had my husband help me, which we’ve done before, but I think I need to be right there while he’s working. The lasagna was all right, but it needed more sauce. The meatballs should have been mixed more thoroughly, and the cake could have used another fifteen minutes in the oven. No one complained, though, so it was fine. It’s just my Virgo perfectionism acting up.

Weather: We had a lot of wet weather last week, but we missed Joaquin – yay! Our poor beaches are a mess with all the wet windy weather. Now, the temps are either in the 60s [coolish] or 70s [nice.] We may get rain again tonight, but otherwise we’re having stretches of beautiful days. No colored leaves, yet, but that will happen soon.

Learning More: My two boys will be overseeing the construction of our new ‘home,’ and I’m starting to get enthused. First of all, the space is huge – about the area of our downstairs here. They’re designing a living/dining room with a kitchen/eating area attached. Then a large bedroom with accessible bathroom will be off a hall from there. We’ll have our own storage/closet space. There are steps to the main house, but we’re getting a stair lift! So the idea of losing the suite didn’t bother me as much. I wish they could get started before settlement, but my husband said that’s not legal.

Books/TV: For a little while, I seemed to have lost my sense of concentration. I think with the falls, my husband’s hospital stay, and our nebulous future, my stress level rose dramatically. I just couldn’t stay focused. That alone was scary, but when I realized it might stay that way because of the MS, I worried. However, little by little, my mind is starting to heal, too. I’m finishing The Girl on the Train, but it’s dragging. I have more books waiting, so I’m going to try to read more each day.
The only new network show I’m watching is Code Black. I love medical shows. My son said he’s enjoying Limitless, but I haven’t tried it. My Saturdays are filled with watching all my DVRed shows.

That’s really all I’ve got. Have a great weekend.