Yesterday, things did not begin well, and I had one of my rare moments of wanting to throw in the towel. I began to get ready for my appointment at the salon, and it was like slogging through Jell-O! My feet were so heavy and my legs so unwieldy that it took forever for me to move from one room to the next. I struggled with my shoes, despite the fact that these new ones are so easy. The temps were lower, and there was little humidity, but I was still hung over from the previous day’s heat. As I went out the back door, the sun hit me, and I knew I’d be weak all day. My husband even rolled me to the car so I’d conserve energy, but it was only a small relief.
I had already devised my new plan at the last salon visit, so my husband pulled into the lot and got the transport wheelchair ready. I pulled up to the storefront, stood up, and realized I couldn’t lift my foot on to the one-step entry. My stylist, Dani, came running over and took charge. She held my hands on the walker, and my husband helped me lift my foot up. Then she eased me into the door, had my husband roll the chair behind me, and I lowered myself into it. Then they wheeled me to the station, helped me to stand and pivot, and I got into the styling chair. By then, I was shaking, exhausted, embarrassed, and near tears. Dani sent my husband on his way, and she knelt down beside me.
“Everything is fine. Stop beating yourself up over something you can’t control. Together, we’ll work this out.”
This was undoubtedly a response to my uttering, “I can’t do it,” (several times.) Or “I’m such a burden,” or “I’m so useless” in varying forms. Dani succeeded in calming me and keeping me from freaking out. Now, mind you, there was another stylist there, the owner, and two customers gawking at my discomfort. It was mortifying and one of the few times when I just wanted to fall through the floor! However, I just sat and spoke softly to Dani. The other two workers eventually came over and were very kind, but I was still in the dumps.
Dani highlighted my hair, and when the foils were ready to come off, she simply helped me into the wheelchair, took me to the shampoo station, and eased me into the chair. Once that process was over, she reversed the routine and wheeled me back. She did the cut and styling while I stayed in the wheelchair. Of course, during all of it, she talked about the things we always discuss – dogs, TV, her gorgeous knitting, and recipes. I had gotten over my uneasiness, and I tried to act normally. Then I said to her that it might be my last visit because I couldn’t repeat that disastrous display. That’s when she came up with the idea of using my bigger and higher chair and my remaining in it for all except the washing. I readily agreed, and a plan had been devised.
Many times when I get totally bummed out, something arises, a solution is reached, or an alternate approach appears. This was definitely one of those days. The black cloud really did have a silver lining. When I told my husband about, he was totally in favor, too. So in five or six weeks, I’ll try the new approach and we’ll see how it works.
Needless to say, there was no foreign travel last night for my boys. We had burgers on the grill, pasta salad, sherbet, and bakery cookies. It was delicious, and no energy was expended!