Christmas

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Imelda Muff

Do you remember the story about Imelda Marcos from the Philippines? When she and her husband were exiled, it was discovered she owned over 3,000 pairs of shoes! I can’t imagine having that many, but I used to get a lot of footwear. My feet were normal, and I loved shoes. Believe it or not, I still have many of them! The problem is, however, that I can no longer wear most of them.

I had to forego high heels once my walking began to deteriorate, but I still have them packed away in a bin. Why? Do I think I’ll ever be able to wear them again? Obviously, that’s not happening. Maybe I’m just a closeted hoarder? Whatever the reason, I just can’t seem to part with them. I still have mental images of how I looked in them and I’ll admit I did love looking like that! The last time I remember wearing them was when I was still a principal!

After I saw the necessity of going flat, I still collected shoes. I’d get an outfit and want shoes to go with it. As I relied more and more on the brace, I tried to find shoes that would hold the brace but still look attractive. I settled for sturdier ballerina flats and ones with a slight vamp. I had a rainbow of colors for each. Note: I rarely wore athletic shoes – just sneaks in colors. If I wore summer clothes, I’d abandon the brace and wear sandals. Those, too, became a collection in styles and colors. I’ve come to believe in the statement, “Vanity thy name is woman!”

Nowadays, I really struggle more and more with shoe choices. My right foot is gross – there’s no other word for it. The lymphedema there has caused me to have constant swelling. My instep is raised about an inch, making it close to impossible to wear regular shoes. I try to force the foot and brace into the vamp shoes, but even then, the swollen skin sticks out all over. It only hurts if the shoe leather starts to push on the instep too hard. When I wear them, I make sure my pants leg is long enough to hide my foot.

Since I’ve made myself a semi-recluse, I can get by with bare feet all the time. I don’t go out and I don’t invite anyone here, so nude feet suit me well. I cringe when I know I have to put shoes on, and then I get all depressed when I see how horrible my foot looks, all bulging at the top and sides. My husband hounds me all the time to get new shoes, but the truth is that I just can’t find any to fit me and still look good.

Last summer, I ordered a pair of crocs, but they didn’t work. I couldn’t fit the brace into them, and the vamp still pressed on my instep. A while ago, I got a pair of Keds, just to see how they would be. (Remember, they come in many colors!) They did work pretty well, but I can’t wear sneaks with everything. Then I finally was able to get my Mukluk boots, and they’re good, too. However, winter is almost over, so they must be stored with the others.

My dilemma: should I order the loafer type shoe in a size larger and stuff the left shoe? Should I get a wider width and do the same stuffing? Should I break all societal rules and go barefoot all the time? I need answers! I’ve looked online, and the shoes I find to accommodate my ugly foot are all even uglier or inappropriate. I have to figure something out soon – the nice weather will be here soon!

Peace,

Muff

10 comments:

  1. Incredible that we both wrote about shoes on the same day!!! My equivalent of always being barefoot is wear at home some decidedly clunky looking but sturdy Birkenstocks. MSer women not infrequently write about their heels. Perhaps it's more than vanity but part of the larger issue of female self definition. After all, weren't we already trying to get into our mother's heels when we were pre-teens?

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    1. You're right about heels defining our womanhood! My son wears Birks all the time, but it's still that instep of mine which causes problems.

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  2. I just commented on Judy's post about her high heels. I too, like both of you, struggle with foot wear and I miss terribly the shoes I can no longer wear. I wear mostly high top sneakers so my ankles have support - I can't go bare foot because it hurts so bad to walk on my numb and tingling feet. The shoes and extra padding I put in cushion the burn and pain. Good Lord!!
    Love to you
    Gail
    peace.....

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    1. Funny that we both have numbish feet, but for me, the freedom of no shoes feels so much better.

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  3. Please consider donating those heels to an organization that outfits women trying to break cycles of poverty or abuse by outfitting them with appropriate business wear. You will have the satisfaction of having done a good deed and less clutter in your storage area.

    Have you ever tried Arcopedico?(http://www.arcopedicoshoes.com/)

    They are sold through Zappo and I have seen them at some shoe stores (but in VT, where we are not know for our stylishjfootwear).

    The are comfortable and they seem to be expanding the styles offered.

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    1. You've shamed me into doing that donation. As I get ready to pack away my winter things, I'll get my shoes and other things bundled for such donations. Thanks for the reminder!
      I'll check out the websites you suggested.

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  4. Muff, never worry about what goes with what!! I wear flip flops year round and I have stone studded ones I wear to "fancy" weddings.....with "fancy" pants!! Everyone knows my style and people often compliment my bravey to just be who I am and wear what's comfortable!! It may not be flip flops for you as they don't offer any support, I wonder if your neuro would have any suggestions. Ugg makes sandles and flip flops, Clarks does also that are well made as my offer more support without crushing your foot. Zappos.com offers a lot of alternatives, if you have not looked there!!

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    1. I know about your flip-flops, and I envy your ability to walk in them. I used to have plain and fancy ones, too, but they went by the wayside. Maybe I'll try them again since I sit a lot!
      Clark's are great, but they're a bit too rigid for this edema.

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  5. You could find a cobbler to make you one really good pair of shoes...they will fit your feet. I knew a cobbler once and at that time back in the 1980 a pair of shoes was $50 , I just could not spare the money..kids need shoes too!
    You could buy two pair of shoes in different sizes so they fit both your feet.
    I wear crocs almost all the time...I love them and I have all colors and they suit me well:)

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    1. Cobbler! What a quaint profession. We don't even have many shoe repair places around here anymore. I had one that I loved -- an elderly Italian gent -- and he could fix anything. He passed away, but I'm sure he could have helped me. Wouldn't it be great if I knew someone who could benefit from that extra pair of shoes in different sizes??

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