I know it’s better to live in the present, but I also like
to run periodic assessments of myself to see if I’m the same or declining
(improvement is never an issue!) Most of the time, I see the same old, same old, but my
latest assessment does show more decline.
1.
Hands:
the left one is really losing it. The right is pretty much shot to blazes
and serves merely as a paper weight, but I had taught myself to use the
non-dominant left. I get looks in church when I cross myself with the left, but
I’m beyond caring. I can print (not cursive, just manuscript) a bit with leftie,
but it’s starting to get weaker earlier in the day. Conundrum: push it to the
limit or rest it? I think for my survival it has to be the former.
2.
Balance: losing it on a regular basis. I look like a Weeble at times, and I feel like I’ll keel over. BUT Weebles wobble, they don’t fall down.
3.
Legs:
Almost the same as before, but again, the left gets weaker. Now I need more help lifting it into the car and getting out of the shower. I still keep moving so I won’t lose it all. Thank God for my husband who’s always there to help me – despite my stubbornness determination.
4.
Mind:
I still seem to retain my mental capacity. Sometimes I wish I weren’t so keen –
maybe I wouldn’t notice all the decline. No, I take that back – I love having
my wits and memory.
5.
Overall:
There are some declines, but not as much as there could be.
The good side is that I haven’t fallen in over ten months. The
stairs are still the most difficult part of the day, but there are still only
three outside and fourteen inside. If that changes, I’ll amend numbers 4 and
five above!
Oh, and I haven’t taken any DMDs in over a year!
Peace,
Muff
8 comments:
HI MUFF I am in celebration of all your freedoms and honoring all your limits as you manage and keep moving, just like me!
Love and understanding
Gail
peace.....
Muffie!!! come on now I thought you were some kind of literature buff or teacher once upon a time ... the only way to avoid 'another step down' is that Faustian hand shake with the devil - instead get yourself a copy of Oscar Wilde's "Picture of Dorian Grey" and a warm fire. :)
I'm a Weeble that falls down.
I thought you had been off DMD's for years. Do you attribute your decline to not taking them?
I acknowledge and appreciate your honesty about your situation. Bravery is spelled out in every word you uttered. So is dignity. So is determination. And, finally, fear. I know what it is like to focus on what one can do well and elude the less heartening realities. It is my MO. Sometimes, though, acknowledging the elephant in the room is the only way to avoid getting trampled by it. I know you will continue to find meaning in your life and your very own way of implementing it. That is the measure of your character, of which you have a great deal. Blessings to you.
Well dang it Muffie... I hate to hear you have declined... but I guess we all know it's going to happen eventually... not that it makes it any easier.
I've been of DMD's for 9 months now. I haven't noticed any significant differences between taking/not taking them. Except mentally... I feel so much better not having to dread the shot every single day.
Keep plugging away, my friend. You are in my thoughts!! (((hugs)))
I know you will keep up the good fight as long as you can. As Winston Churchill said, "Never give up."
Gail, I think of the consequences if we don't keep moving -- scary!
Patrick, I have thought of deal-making such as Faust did, but I never followed it through -- and hey, I don't want to be all-knowing as he did. Dorian Gray -- now there's my kind of guy!
Karen, I absolutely do NOT attribute this SLIGHT decline to non-medicating. I actually made the decision to stop in late 2010, but I wanted to use up all the Copaxone that I had left. So it was mid-2011 -- well over a year, and I think I made the right decision.
Judy, thank you,Judy. Actually, I'm still afraid about what the future holds, but I can't let it rule my life. I just keep doing what I can, and rationalize the rest!
Sherri, I'm really thinking this decline is slight. It could have been a whole lot worse.
Muffy, Thank you for the hug -- I felt it all the way from AZ!
Webster, I don't believe in fighting -- flower child, you know. But I am standing (ha-ha) firm!
Peace,
Muff
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