I Am NOT A No-Brainer!

Do you ever experience this? Once people see me as a disabled person (and I can’t hide it anymore) they tend to see me also as an idiot! You know – talking slowly and loudly, using childish language, and smiling sweetly. Why is that? It amazes me that if I’m speaking to someone on the phone or via a letter, I come across as an intelligent person, but put me face to face with them, and their attitude changes. My words remained the same, but the addition of seeing me made them change their perception.

Here’s an example: a teacher who used to work for me is applying for a position, and she let me know that I may be asked for a reference. I did, in fact, receive a phone call this morning, and that principal and I spoke as if we had a common bond. It wasn’t an extremely long conversation, but it was a professional meeting of the minds. I really feel confident that my friend will get the position. Now, let’s imagine that instead of that phone call, we had met in person. I can guarantee you, that same person would be looking at my dorky walk, trying hard not to stare at my wonky hand, and would quickly dumb down the conversation. I see it all the time. Honest, it’s not my imagination running wild!

If my husband and I are in a store, he can wheel me up to a counter, where I’m able to stand. Once this happens, though, the clerk will begin directing the questions to my husband rather than me. Even if I answer, her eyes will go to him. When we’re at my mother’s healthcare facility, the doctor or nurse may begin to do the condescending, but once I pile on the fifty-cent words, and use my “teacher/principal face,” they stop. When people first meet me, they tend to do an invisible head patting, until I almost have to force my intelligence down their throat.

I suppose I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I want to wear a sign saying “It’s my brain, not my mind!” I hate that this may be the way most disabled people are seen. Look at Stephen Hawkings, or Michael J. Fox, or Stevie Wonder – all accomplished people with a handicap. Why does this situation even exist?

Peace,
Muff